LENT day 16

So, I saw this "Creative Writing" contest of sort on school website and I recalled a poem I wrote long ago. I revisited that poem and, no surprise, it wasn't as perfect as I remembered it to be xD haha I changed it up a bit and entered it. I'm pretty sure I won't win but meh. I wish to write a second poem following this one but don't really have the time. I named it "Captivated", inspired when my life changed from feeling captivated by loneliness to feeling captivated by God. Enjoy. (Yes, I know I'm not exceptional in languages. I have attempted to translate this to French, not all that bad... apparently. If you request for the French version, I'll post it up.)

Captivated

Everyday I wake up to find

a stranger staring into my eyes.

A shadow of terror, no doubt, no lie,

that only one could see, no one else but I.

I have…

A heart burdened with remorse:

for my every thought

as they became failures,

for all that I once fought

as a sinister creature,

for all that I once held dear

as they grew into my biggest fear.

I am overcome by…

a darkness that science deems impossible,

an emptiness that surpasses nothingness,

a silence that amplifies the unsaid,

a deep seated hatred fuelled by hell itself

and above all,

a pain that is surely unreachable.

Yet all anyone ever sees of me

is the person that I lack to be.

The one that is always there

for every fearful sight and tear.

The one that loves her family

and cares for people without boundary.

The one that lives her youth

in faith and in truth.

The one that never cries

but all are lies.

Every attempt I make is a failure.

Every step I don’t take is a mistake.

The past is behind me

unable to be rid of or changed.

The present is before me

as a dream reality deranged.

The future is dark

with a life full of scars.

Can anyone sense my longing

or see that I am falling?

Can I cause no worry

when I am getting weary?

Can there be someone for me to trust

to never look upon me in disgust?

Can I sleep just one night without a care

and without a haunting nightmare?

I want to be accepted

but feel all the more rejected.

I want an embrace

that robs my sorrow without a trace.

I want to belong

in a place that makes me strong.

I want to hear it out loud

that I made someone proud.

I want a love

that descends from above.

But here I am, regardless of my rant.

I know not who I was.

I know not who I am.

I know not who I will be.

But I know God is with me,

there to set me free.

Forever and always,

a love that never fades.

I felt like the sun looked like an eye, watching over me.



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