LENT day 37

     It just past midnight and I can't seem to sleep. I tried going to bed at 11, ended up tossing and turning. My body's aching but my mind's racing. There's a lot on my mind (it's exam time no duh).... my thoughts are dominantly unrelated to exams Oo distracted? Not really, I'm still working quite hard (aching body).
     From what I've been reading in Purpose Drive Life, it got me thinking a lot about my friends and family. I believe the life I lead is itself a testimony to everyone about God. That's important because it makes what I say credible but I realize I don't say that much. Well, yeah I speak a lot, a lot of junk and jokes but it's not very often that I speak about my life experiences and lessons and such. I mean I've spoken in front of large groups before spilling out experiences that make me tremble unceasingly with tears but not often. Lately, even less than normal (probably because of LENT). LENT is good. Not only did I stick God's Word EVERYWHERE, I truly believe every verse. This isolation from people is really rekindling my compassion for my friends, countless faces come to mind every night as I lie awake on my bed thinking "God, I hope he/she will get to know Jesus, really know." I'm too passive. If you ask me to tell you about my life, I'll gladly tell you but I don't take the initiative enough, I don't think. Above all, the people under the same roof as me probably know me the least out of everyone, kinda sad and pathetic at the same time.... I'm thinking of taking advantage of this coming family vacation to tell them about my mission experiences and such (maybe my extracurriculars that I've kept hidden all along, just maybe).
     Something else that's been consistently and persistently on my mind, Haiti. The idea of going to Haiti Relief Trip is growing bigger and bigger each day. At first, there was one specific person that I heard God tell me to invite to a mission trip this summer. Then, that person felt we should bring other brothers and sisters along to experience this as a fellowship.  Now, the idea of bringing a group of people to Haiti for a mission trip is running circles in my mind. Yes, it's pricey. Yes, it's not particularly safe. After that month-long hype immediately following its earthquake, no one has really paid attention to Haiti, okay fine maybe a half-hour "anniversary update". Haiti has always been one of the poorest countries in the Western society and it is not even close to recovering from last year's earthquake. There hasn't been much improvement to say the least. I understand that one week is not suffice to make any impact in this situation but every effort counts. My objective of bringing a group with me is really for them to understand what mission really is through this experience. I, personally, found that I had to be thrown out of my habitual environment to understand what mission (intended by God) is. Next step of course was incorporating it back to 'my' environment.
     So that's what's been on my mind. A lil' lonesome once in a while in the sense that spoke to 5 people altogether today (including family and a cashier at Walmart -.-'). While I'm at it, I hate how it's mandatory for all the cashiers to say "Hi, how are you today?" It's automatic. Then, I always see customers reply "Good, how are you?" Cashier doesn't reply and the customer didn't expect a reply either. I'm really starting to hate this phrase 'cause whenever I ask "how are you?" to someone, I never get a reply or it's the automatic reply "good, how are you?" when I seriously want to know. -.- I know eh, I get ticked off at the smallest things.